The power of hitting rock bottom

I want to keep this feeling that I have now.

The feeling of hitting rock bottom, of having nothing to lose. This sort of feeling has helped me to seek clarity like nothing else has before. It has helped me to realise that money doesn’t mean anything, that relationships, family and friends are most important. It has helped me to realise that we are trivial in this vast universe. It has helped me to go about my day without fear, without fear of the things going wrong, because in the end, it really doesn’t matter.

Perspective like this I think only comes with black swan events. Black swan events like a coronavirus impacting financial markets, those around you, an event that disrupts your everyday life. Black swan events such as your loved ones passing away, or when they or you succumb to a serious illness. I would never wish it on anyone to have to face these events themselves, but these events bring about a level of perspective that I wish I had every day.

I think this level of perspective helps me to be a better person, not just to those around me, but even more broadly in the way I am able to solve problems, to be creative and to be innovative. It brings about a sense of calm, the sense of the calm that you get when you go through the 5 stages of grief and get to the last stage (of acceptance). This sense of calm allows you see things that you otherwise would not have seen. It has given me my drive again, it has given me my humility back, it has given me more confidence, and it has given me more empathy. It has stopped me from overthinking things.

As an example, I have been recently in a disagreement with my previous landlord. This landlord is sly and very greedy, lying to my co-tenants and myself and making up silly reasons to deduct an amount from both my co-tenants and my deposit. She has also tried to force the co-tenants and myself to stay in the flat and pay rent till a certain date (even though we are legally not bound to do so i.e. my fixed tenancy agreement ended earlier than this). She is also illegally subletting.

In the last couple of weeks, she has made my blood boil on numerous occasions and I find some days after reading her email, that I have to stop and go for a walk. With everything that has happened, I have realised that no longer will I stand for such greed, such ridiculously selfish behaviour. If need be, I am going to take her to court, as she lied about protecting my deposit, produced a fake invoice to charge my co-tenant and also we discovered inconsistencies in the electrical bills provided. She may see it as a money thing, but for me, it’s no longer a money thing. She is doing the wrong thing and I need to do the right thing and stand up to such bad behaviour, such behaviour that I am sure she has exhibited to make money from all her previous tenants. I will not back down, I will help my co-tenants to get their money back and I will take you to court if need be (bitch). That..I want to show you..is the power of facing someone with nothing to lose.

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Thomas Mak

Thomas Mak

On the hunt for life's secret herbs and spices